Tuesday, March 4, 2014

How

Are some things better left unsaid?

<Discommunication...>

"Sometimes I wish I could get drunk enough and just drunk text whatever I want to say.

Because I can't say it while I'm sober."

"Lol if it's not wise to say while you're sober then it's best not to say it!"

<My wandering thoughts eat at me, killing me without mercy...>

I don't know why, but at that moment it felt like something pierced a little through my heart.  

<Even though my words won't reach you, I will still sing them. In this one-way traffic...>

I am dying to tell you. To tell you I've never moved on. Yes, I did like someone else for a short period of time after, but you were always there somewhere. (Somehow, typing that just made me feel like a disgusting human being. Like I'm being fickle and just not "genuine".)

<I just want to beat myself up until I'm completely broken...>

I'm dying to tell you, just how much I miss you every single god damned day. How much I wish to be able to hold your hand, even if it's just for a minute - no, a second. How much I want to hug you again, and just feel safe and warm. How much you make the world seem like a nicer place when you're around, how the sun seems to shine a little brighter, music sounds a little gentler. 

<Discommunication...>

How I've never thought I'd be capable of a thing called "love", to the point I refuse to think that I'm in "love" with you, and that it's just a passing infatuation. A crush that crushed me. That's all. 4 more months and it'll be a year. A year of silly yearning. Of wanting the impossible. 

<Even though my words won't reach you, I will still sing them. In this one-way traffic...>

Of wanting you.

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